Fida and Rose at the Aswat organisation in Haifa. Photo Linda Forsell

They dare to be lesbians

2009-08-25

In the Middle East, homosexual acts are illegal in all countries except Israel and Jordan. Homosexuality is regarded as an illness and homosexuals are persecuted and discriminated against. Lesbian women are most vulnerable. When the Aswat organisation was formed to support Palestinian lesbian women they had to make up new words to describe their sexuality because there were none in the Arab language.

Aswat is mainly active in northern Israel where they help Palestinian lesbians, but they also work in the West Bank and Gaza. Their office is at the rear of a large premises for feminist organisations and is so small that Rose has to sit behind a door and work.
- She's sitting in a closet waiting to be let out,says her colleague, Frida, laughing.
She is only joking, but there is an element of truth in what she says. Fida and Rose are not their real names because homosexuality is still not socially accepted in Palestinian society.
- If it came out that we lived as homosexuals it would have grave consequences. Our families would reject us and we would be subjected to harassment from anti-lesbian groups.

Aswat has existed for six years and began as an email list for lesbian Palestinians. By 2004 the organisation had become large enough to open an office in Haifa in which Rose and Fida work halftime. Activities include counselling and a helpline that people can use anonymously when they need somebody to talk to. Another important task is outreach on women's homosexuality.
- We educate social workers and teachers in these issues and try to increase awareness of what it means to be lesbian.

One problem that soon emerged was the lack of Arab literature on the subject.
- Because homosexuality "doesn't exist" in our society there are no information brochures available. The ones that did exist were in English or Hebrew, but we wanted material in our own language so we created it ourselves, explains Rose.
This is where the next problem arose. There were no good Arabian ways of saying things like queer, coming out of the closet, homophobia and transvestite.
- The words that do exist have a somewhat negative ring, so we simply made up our own words and put together a simple dictionary that we distributed, says Fida. "It was a very successful project. Some of our words are now being used by people in general and in the media.

Another project was books in which Palestinian lesbians talk about their experiences.
- It's very important for young lesbians that such texts exist. Because lesbian relationships are forbidden, they are denied and kept quiet so young lesbians have no role models, no references for what a lesbian relationship looks like, adds Rose.
It is difficult to reach out to this target group as all of them are anonymous.
- We spread information through our website, but many are afraid to take contact with us for fear of being revealed, continues Fida.
- We know exactly how that feels, adds Rose.
- It took me six months to pluck up courage to attend my first Aswat meeting. It's difficult enough having to acknowledge the fact you're lesbian in a society where it's totally unacceptable.

Another obstacle for reaching out to lesbian Palestinians is the strict social control in Palestinian society. Women live with their families until they marry and have to say where they are going when they leave the home. It is not that easy to sneak away to attend a meeting at a lesbian organisation like Aswat.
- Male homosexuals have it easier in that respect. A woman's honour can be destroyed if they do something shameful so our parents guard us much more than our brothers, says Rose.
- Even if our families let us live by ourselves it would be difficult to manage economically. It's a patriarchal society where men are expected to provide for the family, so they earn a lot more than women.

But life is easier for Rose and Fida, who live in Haifa, than for their Palestinian sisters in the West Bank and Gaza. Firstly, the occupation of the Palestinian settlements constitute a physical obstacle for women to get to Aswat's office. Israeli checkpoints prevent Palestinians from moving freely, and getting a permit to cross to the other side is basically impossible.
Secondly, Palestinian society in the West Bank and Gaza is more conservative than in the large Israeli towns.
- People here are at least becoming more aware of the existence of homosexuality. In the West Bank and Gaza it's not even talked about. Another advantage with living in Israel is that we have the law on our side. Israel and Jordan are the only Middle Eastern countries where homosexuality is not a crime. In Lebanon you risk a two-year prison sentence if you have sex with someone of the same gender. Here we can do as we please, but norms are one thing, social acceptance something else again, explains Rose.

Both Rose and Fida have told some of their family members that they are lesbian, and even if their mothers do not really accept their daughters' lifestyle, they still try to keep it secret.
- My father is so traditional that he'd never cope with knowing. But my mother knows and she is very concerned that rumours could spread about me. At first she tried to "cure" me, but it didn't go so well. Even if she says that she loves me for what I am, she still tries to get me to change and suggests men who she thinks would suit me. In this way she forces me to stay in the closet, continues Fida, adding that she is anyway lucky to have such an understanding mother.
In families with a more traditional view of homosexuality, gays and lesbians run a much greater risk. The worst scenario is falling offer for honour-related violence.
- There are gays and lesbians in the West Bank and Gaza who seek asylum in Israel to escape honour-related violence, explains Rose.

How do you see the future?
- It's much better in Haifa now that what it was two or three years ago. There are gay cafés and bars where Palestinians also go. So things are definitely heading in the right direction. We hope it becomes more and more acceptable to be lesbian in the Middle East. Our dream is to be able to live out in the open.

Pernilla Ahlsén
Freelance Journalist